Elvis has NOT left the building

A few weeks ago we had a cold snap here in the Bay (28 degrees – BRRRR!) which apparently sent the local rat population scurrying for cover. Elvis came to reside in our humble offices. When we were told by our cleaning guy that we had a rat (either that or a mutant mouse, judging by the droppings), everyone was in a tizzy but nothing got done about it. I’m realizing this is par for this place’s course.

When my coworker’s neck warmers (filled with delicious grains and rice) were nibbled on, the warcry went up again but, again, nothing happened. Finally, when I came in to budless iPod earbuds, something got done. I bought several enormous rat traps, baited them with yummo peanut butter and waited for the death and mayhem.


Indeed, one trap caught a rat! Unfortunately, he was the granddaddy of rats and, unbelievably, wriggled his way out of the trap. But not before leaving some evidence in the form of some blood.

That surely couldn’t have been a mortal wound – there wasn’t enough blood. Besides, another trap was sprung (sans blood) the following day. But I walked into the office yesterday to the most godawful stench imaginable. On the bright side, the snap trap did the job. I just hate that #1) Elvis probably suffered terribly before passing on to a land filled with garbage and big piles of pink fiberglass insulation, and #2) he is now rotting in some inaccessible place near my desk.

The cute Terminix guy said to expect about 3 weeks of Eau du Rat with the added bonus of at least three waves of big fat flies. Let’s not talk about how those flies come to be.


So, for the next few weeks, smelly votives will be covering my desk. They’re almost as bad.


If only this guy knew what to do when he caught something, I might not be in this stinky situation. But he’s so cute, who cares!


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